the games people play

If life is truly a game, who determines the winner? Is winning determined categorically or as a whole? On the flip side, if life isn't a game but rather a journey, why does success hinge on so much strategy? ugh....I hate games. I think that we should name Scotty as the Life Judge: cause my daddy loves me and thinks I'm special.
Maybe it's the lazy side of me but I really hate all types of games. Theoretical as well as board, card, guessing, and ball-required. It isn't the game that I dislike, its the start-up that makes my eyes roll and my body slump. Once the ball is tossed in the air, my over-competitive side kicks in and I love the game! I'll play with gusto (weather permitting). But, as you may have guessed, board games are not the topic of his post. It's the games in life that I need to vent about.
Have you ever postponed calling someone because you didn't want to seem to eager? Have you ever really like a person until they called you too often and made themselves too available? I know I have. (shocking) It's all fun and games until you're on the receiving end of your own strategy. I used to be great at this game! I could lure a guy in and spit him out all in the span of a week. My old boss called me the venus fly trap after I went out with a client's son a few times and then never called him again. In my defense, I felt bad about it! There was just no spark. But when it's me or my girlfriends that are being tossed around....well you can imagine my dismay. WTF?! I no me gusta the game and have called it on account of rain! No more game! Whatever happened to just telling someone how you feel?! Will it always be about the chase? the victory of having someone in the palm of your hand?
With traditional games there is a winner and a loser. If you'd asked me a year ago if I'd ever "won" a relationship game I probably would have replied, "ummm like duh. have you seen my lately?!" (humility is my best quality). But now, I think I've decided that there is no real winner per se. The "winner" remains unable to form stable relationships with others and the "loser" uses this experience to form another layer of armor - armor in tact for the next time a potential mate comes along. I formed my own armor years ago; but now I have to look in the mirror and ask, have my actions caused others to put up walls? To not let people in? Damn I sure hope not...cause my walls are (finally) starting to crumble...and that whole process took years. Maybe the games stop with maturity. Girls mature quicker than boys. Therefore, I should date older men. Imma keep that in mind...

For the record, this vent has (almost) nothing to do with my current relationship status. It stems from a convo I had with a good friend from undergrad. boys boys boys. good men are hard to find.