eating missionaries for dinner

So I read a new book. It's called "Getting Stoned with Savages" and about the author's travels through the Vanuatu and Fiji in the south pacific. He becomes obsessed with finding out everything he can about the one thing he can't understand: cannibalism. I can't help but agree (oddly enough) - what is it with eating people? I'm a carnivore and proud of it (I order my steak rare. bleeding perhaps), but a person would sorta creep me out. I draw the line there. Maybe if I were on the plane with the people from the movie Alive. You know, basic human survival instincts and all. I would cut a bitch. But this isn't about what I think, but more about the whole subject, so moving on.

While in the Fiji museum he ran into a Bible from the Methodist reverend Thomas Baker. Next to his Bible was the dish in which some of Mr. Baker's flesh was presented to one of the highland chiefs. And the fork used to eat he's flesh. And Mr. Baker's shoe....the only thing left after they ATE HIM.
The author goes on to share his views on missionaries....which I thought was funny and I add it not to offend but as a discussion topic. (and by discussion I mean for me to talk about...seems kinda one-sided but whatev). If you can't laugh at yourself (or your group/affiliation) then you aren't allowed to laugh at others.
Generally, when it came to missionaries, I rooted for the home team. "My god is better than your god" always struck me as an argument that was just a trifle presumptuous. What if the missionaries were wrong? What if the divine creator was actually Isis, the goddess of fertility? She'd be pissed, wouldn't she? Nevertheless, after just a brief exploration of Fijian history, I couln't hep but cheer for the Methodists.
I can't help but cheer for them either! A simple, "No thanks but safe travels!" would have worked much better than. "rrrawwww" - knife wielding cannibals. Break bread. Not bones. But if it makes anyone feel better, the tribe who killed him felt badly about it after and presented the Methodist church with a whales tooth. Which I guess is like the highest form of "I apologize for eating your reverend" in Fiji at that time. They no longer "eat the man" over there. I think that would put a bit of a damper of tourism if the visitors were being offered as the nightly special.
But taking that tangent....how would you go about pricing human flesh? Would Methodists be more or less expensive than Catholics or Mormons? Would beauty be taken into account? I mean, can you just see the problem you'd face when ordering your meal? "I'll have the blonde Mormon with the good pecks. Oh and hold the freckles." I don't think that people with freckles should be eaten. We're too awesome.

Kind of morbid topic but I've been left in my apartment by myself for far too long. If you'd like a better topic, bring KB back to me.